Sunday, September 23, 2007
I suddenly find myself in a place where I've lost my joy.
I wake up every morning and couldn't find the motivation to go on.
I feel so tired...
I just don't know what I'm fighting with. Fighting for. Fighting against.
Maybe its just a phase. I kept telling myself. And so I told myself for the past 2 weeks.
Yes, I've been busy. Doing whatever I know I need to do. Except, without the zest. The strength. The enthusiasm.
Sometimes, I yearn for freedom. Freedom from being me.
When I do, I read books/ watch drama serials, hoping against all hopes to be in another world, to take on another character. To stop being me for a little while. To keep myself busy. What escapism.
Why does grass always seem greener on the other side? I'd like to wonder what would be different if things are just different..
But, does it really matter?If I keep thinking that grass is always greener on the other side...
I will never find my own patch of grass.
Just The Girl @
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Dumb-dumb is sick!
2 nights ago, I noticed white spots on his fins.
I observed for two days, and realised that its spreading!!!
If you didn't know, my previous "Chilli" died because of fin infection...
So yap, this time round.. I'm determined to make Dumb-dumb recover!
I had to make him go through a Medicated Bath which is a icky-looking-green solution mixed with water and he had to stay in the bath for more than 3 mins. All these repeated for the next 5days!
He looked so miserable in the bath that I felt so heart-pain for him.
But you know what?
Goldfishes have really poor short-term memory...
So, while he's swimming about now, I really doubt he can remember that miserable bath at all! Ha!
Just The Girl @
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
While I enjoy the buzz thoroughly, the sudden silence brought me to a place of solitude.
A time to reflect, re-envision, re-prioritise and re-plan.
I still find this silence alarming.
But I realise that if I do possess a strong characteristic, its just that I'm adaptable.
I move On, and Along...
maybe not just out of choice, but because of circumstances.I know there are more important issues than
"me".
Just The Girl @
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Something I've been pondering about the whole week is how a little fishie like dumb-dumb can totally capture my heart.
I sometimes catch myself just staring at it, swimming in circles.
I get worried when I find its head buried amongst the leaves of the plant.
I get worried when its not swimming.
I am happy when its happily eating its food, looking healthy.
Everytime it blurp-blurp-blurp, looking at me with its mouth ajar, I know its telling me something.
'Mummy, the food is not nice" or "Mummy, please change the tank water" or "Mummy, I'm hungry!"
(Which, goldfishes always are, since they are always greedy. Referenced from a Goldfish-Tips-website. Ha!)
When I went away for a worship retreat, I made sure that my housemate would feed dumb-dumb its breakfast and supper.
Since then, I've been thinking... Has dumb-dumb ever felt scared that I will forget to feed it?
And seriously, I have never forgotten. If its just for the novelty, its more than a month since i've got dumb-dumb. It cannot be because of a fresh novelty excitement.
I catch myself realising that if I get so concerned about this tiny little life, so concerned about its wellbeing,
How much more concerned would our heavenly Father be about our wellbeing. :D
Just The Girl @
Saturday, September 01, 2007
